What Pushes Your Buttons?

What pushes your buttons?  Being criticized?  Being told on?  Being yelled at?  Feeling unaccepted?  The kids arguing?  Your sibling?  Loud noises?  Traffic?  The baby crying?  Being interrupted?  We've all had our buttons pushed.  Most likely we've even said to someone, "Don't push my buttons!"  It may even seem that our family members, spouse, friends, siblings or co-workers know exactly which buttons to push. 

When someone pushes your buttons what is your response?  Do you bite back?  Do you stomp off growling with your shoulders slumped forward and your head down?  Do you stuff your feelings away letting them boil up inside?  Do your eyes begin to fume with fire, watering because you wish someone would see it from your side?  Or do you stand strong, breathing calmly without reacting while listening openly?  Imagine if you had the tools to steer your perception to gain control of the situation.  

Bottom line, our buttons are going to get pushed and when they do it is an opportunity for growth.  I know, you didn't want to hear that.  But seriously, when we take a moment to not react and pause we experience stillness.  An opportunity for clarity appears.  When we practice this our perception shifts.

This past week I overheard my children arguing and walked into the room ready to separate them, but when I entered the room I decided to observe.  Trust me, this wasn't easy.  I don't know why this happened.  It just did.  I chose to honor the little voice inside of me that tugged at me and suggested that I remain calm and observe the situation.  I became aware of my breath and chose to not react.  I noticed that my children knew exactly which buttons to push.  They weren't listening to their brother or sister.  They were fired up and reacting while taking things personally.  They were committed to getting their point across.  Sound familiar?  I found myself wondering what would happen if one of them became silent and actually listened to what the other one had to say.  Without judgement.  Without anger.  I began to take note of how they could do such a thing.

As you may of already guessed, this did not happen and they continued to argue throughout the day.  I mindfully chose to give them space and encouraged them work it out together (and they eventually did).  But, throughout the day I continued to take notes and searched for clues on how they could shift the situation.  

I chose to share my study with my Saturday morning family yoga class.  And, everyone was able to relate.  Children, parents, grownups (without children).  I realized this is just the start to something bigger.  Something life changing! 

The next time your buttons are pushed try cultivating stillness by practicing this exercise:

1.  Remain Open.  Ask yourself if there is room for growth in this experience.  How can you grow in this moment?  Could your heart open more by rolling your shoulders back and down?  What part of your body needs to relax?  Breathe into that space and as you exhale release any tension you may be holding.  Don't overanalyze or judge yourself or the person pushing your buttons.  Just observe and remain open.